I was raised Catholic and taught to kneel in front of an ancient torture device (the cross) and reinact cannibalism (communion.)
Now, as a metaphysical Christian, Good Friday is perhaps my most revered spiritual holiday and the message resonates. Worth mentioning that the story of Christ, the entire papacy and Christian faith, is based on the world's most powerful horror story ever told.
Being asked to carry your own cross up hill, after being betrayed by those who said they loved you,(the only tenderness coming from a rumored prostitute), to then have nails pounded through your appendages, looking up to the sky through the blood dripping into your eyes from the crown of throwns on your head, asking your father, "why have you forsaken me?"
But this physical suffering releases your soul, as holds true in many spiritual beliefs, that it takes a ravaging of the physical body (or a deprivation of) in order to set our true selves free, to then harrow hell, as Jesus did, for 3 days in order to then ascend.
I have thought of Good Friday more than once as I ran marathons and endured physical pain but felt such spiritual ascendancy and bliss. I have thought of it with the pain I put myself through in my addiction. It happens in large shares and small bits. Today and everyday and all of our days.
It is part (just part) of why teenagers cut.
Cliche to say, but we all have our cross to bear, we will all feel forsaken, and most endure pain in this life with small glimpses that our spirit is meant for something bigger. Enjoy your hell. It's going to be okay.